This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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