there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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