Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
