Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Girls should come with a carfax report
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
