We're facebook friends in real life
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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