y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
