Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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