Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
