I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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