he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize