haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied