I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
