going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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