I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
