think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
