I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
