sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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