I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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