with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i need some magic done to my vagina
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
