It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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