I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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