You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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