piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
