A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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