Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
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