just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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