she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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