Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
