people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
