Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
