Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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