we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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