so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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