Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
