he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
