Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
