it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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