brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize