just come out here and I will go home with you...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
