ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
