I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize