my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
