If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
