Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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