I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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