Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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