It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
