i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
