why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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