...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
