so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
