We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
