Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
