Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
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I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
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Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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