His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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