Do you still have your period?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
